Mistress has asked me to write on Ds/ sex and vanilla sex.  this came about because She asked what type of orgasm i enjoyed the most.  i told Her that i keep my D/s life and vanilla life totally separate and never compare the two.   vanilla sex to me is when both parties are just having 'normal' sex, no one is in control and things are just happening.    D/s sex is when the Dominant is in complete control and the submissive must follow all instructions without regard to personal pleasure.  in a D/s mode i don't have any needs.   i think that is the main difference, between us.   When Mistress is in sub mode she does have needs, She knows when She needs pain, She enjoys watersports and lets the Dominant know.